hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
