I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
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She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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