You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
