Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Alive.
So much puke
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
