the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
