come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I need a burrito and a hug.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
