How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
