whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
