24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
