her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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