Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I forget how to act sober
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