You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
