I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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