He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
