Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
