How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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