The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
