I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
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Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
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I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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