In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
