I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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