Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
