How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
