you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
