you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.