Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.