just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.