I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I got inside last night via doggy door
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow