ugly people sure do ruin things
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
