I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
