A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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