I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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