Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
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Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Sorry my hands just texted you
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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