No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
