This girl is more easily done than said...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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