Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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