Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
