Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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