Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
