I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
