hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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