Sponge bath it is.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
