Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
