he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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