Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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