And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize