I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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