Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
