Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
