I looked at my own cervix.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just found puke in my bra..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
