can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
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I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
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Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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