this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
