but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
