god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
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