Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
