your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
