Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize