Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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