dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
