The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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