I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize