fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My vagina is officially offended.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
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