Those balls look pretty dangerous.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
